Trying out a new writing club, we did a circle story to get to know people better. It involved each person adding on as much as they could in 1 minute to whatever the previous people had written.
Here is the original:
The night that he ran away was the night that she got hit by the bus. Little did he know that his first act of independence would be her undoing. He had never planned for anyone to get hurt. He had believed that nobody would have even noticed he was gone. For once in his life, he just wanted to feel alive, to feel like a person. It wasn't like he hated his mother, and it certainly had never been that he wanted her dead! The news only reached him that next morning
And here is my revised version:
The night he ran away was the night her heart stopped. His first act of independence was her undoing.
I just want one night on my own. I just want one night to be special for me.
He had never planned for anyone to get hurt, especially not her. He hadn't even believed anyone would notice he was gone.
I just want to feel alive for once. Is that really too much to ask for?
Day after day, he had sat in her room. Sat there watching her limp body lie in the bed.
She isn't going to wake up tonight. I never do anything anyway.
Her condition was worsening, and he had known that.
I want to wander beneath the moon and the stars. I want my childhood back.
When he had closed the door to leave, the door to his old life was also shut.
I'm doing it. I'll be quick. She'll be fine for an hour.
He knew it had been a mistake when there were doctors rushing in and out of her room.
She isn't getting better. I know they only say that to comfort me. I wish they would stop, it doesn't work.
He was now free from one chain, but another had clamped onto a different part of his life. His legs were free, but now his mind would never be his own.
Okay. Let's do this. What's the worst that could happen?
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