The Kleptomaniacal Dinosaur

The Kleptomaniacal Dinosaur

By Jake Swartwout

One especially windy day, a lone Anglachirosaur (eng-lock-err-o-sore) was wandering the dry, dusty plain he called home. As he passed by people, he tried to steal from them. Whether it was purposely or not, he always swept away their stuff with his tail. He stole from everyone. The artist, the cephalopod, and even his old chiropractor! “As it turned out,” as one adventuring psychologist said, “He has Kleptomania” Everyone believed that. He would come along to a spot with expensive items, peer around, and sweep away everyones stuff. He would then rush it away, never to be seen again. One especially adventurous adventurer decided to find out where exactly he was taking it, and what he was doing with it.

That night, The exploring explorer left out lots of item of considerable value. They were fake, but you could not tell that in the dark of night, and that was when the dinosaur was attacking. Peering around casually, the watching watcher saw someone peering around casually. “Aha!” He yelled, jumping on an old mundane lady. As he was tackling her, trying to make her put on handcuffs, a giant dinosaur (I think it was an Anglachirosaur but I couldn’t tell) came in, and swept all of the items of the table and away. But the baiting Bait anticipated that. And it was a trap! The old lady was being attacked by a clone! Quickly, he ran out to follow the dinosaur.

He ran out, to find that the Anglachirosaur had disappeared! He peered around, looking for any sign of the theif. There was none. Depressed, he started walking back. Then tripped and fell into a long hole. Of course! Where else to hide your treasure but catacombs! He ran down the sloping passageway to find the stolen things. But he was halted before he could get there. For blocking the passage, was a giant, fluid, living, adhesive blob! It slid along the floor to the fighting fighter and extended a tentacle like object. Of course, it was on the floor and couldn’t do much. So he just decided to brave walking on it and pass. But, when he stepped on it, his foot stuck to the floor. Surprised, he tried to pry it off...and got his hand stuck. He tried to use his other hand and got that stuck too. Soon, he was lying stuck to the floor, not being able to move anything except his eyeballs which he kept under his closed eyelids. Making a sound that was supposedly supposed to sound like laughing, the living glue (for that was what it was) slid over to a nearby cliff and started to creep over the edge. He screamed. Slowly, the adhesive released him and he began to sink. But before he could, he threw an arm up and grabbed onto the ledge. Unfortunately, in an effort to become slippery and have him slip, the blob became completely non adhesive everywhere and fell off the cliff. The leading leader moved on to see what was next

He creeped around the corner, to see if he could spy on the anglochirosaur, but was met by a completely different site. It was democratic, it was erratic, it was even quadratic, it was a jury of quadrupeds! They spotted him and brought him over to a chair and forced him to read a paper. Then, they called him guilty and sent him back. So he went around them. On the other side of the jury, a cephalopod caught him and brought him back to the quadrupeds. They quickly sat him in the chair with another paper. When he read this paper, the group of quadrupeds said he was innocent and let him go. But, one who gave him the paper forced him to pay. But then he could go on.

Finally, the spying spy found the chamber with the Anglachirosaur. He was lying on the ground sleeping by a giant catapult. Looking at the trajectory of the catapult, he was able to find out where it was aimed. If fired with the weight of so much treasure, it would land on… a pile of treasure on a mountain! So this was where he took the treasure! He must steal it, bring it down here, deposit it in the catapult, and fire it off to a safe mountain. The only problem was, it had to go through a tunnel to get to the surface. You couldn’t fire it from underground in the catacombs. Multi-tasking, the dumb dummy pulled the catapult back and got in it. “Time to see where this goes” He muttered as he hit the release lever. Whoooosh! He went flying through the air and through the tunnel. Out into the bright sunlight he flew, heading towards the base of the one mountain in the area. He came down and landed roughly on the pile, but lived. He shot off a flare, that sent out tiny robots to everyone, notifying them of the location of the treasure. Soon a large mass of people came to reclaim what was theirs. Happy, the winning winner slid down the gold pile and walked back home to tell the tale.

The End