The sad family of very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very unlucky people
Written by Jake S
Once upon a time in a slightly magical kingdom, a happy family lived. There was a proud father and mother with their son and his younger sister. They lived happily for many years until one day a magical wizard stumbled upon their house.
But he wasn’t really a magical wizard. He was a cereal killer who was famous for killing cereal! He tricked the family to let him in and said that he would give them what They wanted most.
The family treated him with much respect. Whatever he wanted they gave him. The dad carrying firewood, the mom sewing new clothes, the two kids providing entertainment. And after many years of laboring the family finally asked for their wish to be granted.
So the wizard brought out his magical wand and waved it around and called for his son. His son was called Thae (pronounced they) and was a kid obsessed with ghosts and zombies. Then the wizard handed them a paper cutout of a ghost.
The family was horrified. None of them wanted this! Then the evil wizard explained that he promised the family what his son Thae most wanted. And Thae had wanted to meet a ghost. The wizard ran away to kill more cereal.
Saddened the family cried and cried. The father cried the most for he spent everything he had on the wizard. The family struggled for they had no money left. Soon after much pain they started wishing that even the ghost was real. Even that would make them happy.
Then one day while upon his evening walk a wizard saw their house. He heard crying from inside so he sent a wish over to the house for the family to use. Then the families wish came true. The next thing that died would stay as a ghost for them.
Ahhhhhh! The girl screamed. For there was a spider on the floor. She abrubtly squashed him and put the corpse outside.
Then an evil scientist nearby started testing his new ray gun. He shot it at something and it worked! Then to solve the age old question, he fired his gun at a mirror to see what would happen.
The ray bounced off and hit another mirror. The ray bounced and bounced making the scientist duck and hide to avoid it. Then it hit the window and went through. It flew through space and out of the atmosphere.
In space a small ship got infected with alien flu so they had to self destruct. The ship exploded sending rubbage everywhere.
The poor mirror got cracked and was floating through space silently. Then a large beam of light flew towards it and got bounced back to Earth.
Falling through the atmosphere the ray prayed for its life. And luckily for it, the friction of it falling so fast made it heat up, grow, and increase in power. Then it saw the perfect place to hit. A small home in the middle of the city. It changed direction and headed for the house.
Meanwhile the spider had come back from the dead. He was angry for he had been squashed. He was flying around the outside of the house trying to scare them. Then he flew over the roof but the beam hit him.
He grew and grew getting larger than anything ever before. Now realizing how powerful he was, he went and terrorized the city.
News reporters everywhere were relating the story to the people to beware a giant ghostly spider.
But the spider was new at being a ghost so he phased through everything. He tried looking for flies to eat but could not find any.
Then the evil cereal killer came. He was killing someones cereal at the time when he saw the T.V. He wondered if people would give a reward it someone got rid of the ghost. So he bought a shop-vac and went out.
When he reached the spider it laughed. The spider was amused that a human thought he could stop him. He shot out his foot and smashed the evil cereal killer. Then the spider started to cry. The man had worn a pin and it poked the spider. And since he learned the dangers of humans and how bad something squished on your bare foot felt, he ran away to the rain forest for someone else to find and kill.
Then the family all saw this and wanted their spider back. So they went to the scientist who made the grow ray.
He told them that he learned the information he needed to know and realized he caused trouble by sending his ray out into space. So he hopped in his time machine wishing them good luck. He went all the way back to when the first ancestor they had in common was born. The first ancestor was the first humans. He then took out his knife and killed them. But he had formed a paradox.
God then came down and saw what he had done. He had made a false statement in the worlds perfect equation. So he went back and made a slight wind blow when the scientist was born, therefore changing all of history.
The old scientist now was going to grow up being a marine biologist. He grew up never to be the harsh teacher of the future cereal killer.
Then since he had it easy the future cereal killer never grew up to be a cereal killer. So the family was able to live happily without the fake magician.
But the spider was also able to time travel. He saw the scientist go back so he followed him. And when the future for him was changed, he was still in the past. But since this created another paradox, he felt queasy and he went back to his normal time.
God, annoyed as ever, went and said, a ghost isn’t harmful. So he changed history again so the spider still existed.
But this still changed the spiders past. Instead of being an innocent spider he was bent on revenge. He had been a human but someone evil turned him into a giant spider. Then people treated him so badly he committed suicide and became a ghost.
So while walking around town, looking for the man he wanted to kill, he accidentally stepped on the sad families house and killed them all.
The end
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