Cuss Cops 2

Episode 2

The only time Mark found things, was when he didn’t want them. But today, he found something he might want. It was laying on his desk when he came home from work, and was a story about the ancient country of Quandordinheem. Located somewhere around the center of Australia. Amazingly, this was where the word Potato became a bad word. (Do you mind if I don’t beep it out?) Yep. The bad word @#)%&# originated here.(Sorry, I’ll try better next time) Horrible, right? Mark knew that only he thought potato (did it!) was a bad word but it might be a bad word somewhere else. So Mark thought he would do everyone a favor if he made it not be a bad word. He headed down to his basement and grabbed a bottle. Time to go to Quandordinheem. He had always wanted to go to Quandordinheem.

He got his bottle of Back and poured it on his head. “Off we go!” he shouted. People turned to look at him. “Hdiosig&” They said. Oh yeah. He was in Quandordinheem. They couldn’t understand him. He took out the little story and looked closely at what was said. “Down aje0e09 road and around the turn near a big building, inside a red house should be a board sticking up that someone stepped on that created the word potato.”

Mark mumbled to himself. ajf0e09 road… There! He ran over to the little road and looked on the sign. The sign said ajeocog. This was the wrong road! He looked around trying to find the right road. It was nowhere in sight. He wandered around, looking for the right road, and eventually decided to go down ajeocog road. He walked and walked and made many wrong turns until he was extremely disoriented. But look! A tiny red house! He must have come back to where he had started!

He quickly rushed into the house and looked for any loose boards. There were none. In fact, it had a dirt floor! So he went out and decided to check the big building. The big building had boards! Hooray! He ran inside and tripped on a loose board. “Potato!” He spat out, annoyed that he tripped. He got up and looked around to find the entire town sitting there for a conference. Oops. Now he would have to train them to forget it. Or… He quickly turned and ran out the door, the crowd staring at him leave. He went outside and climbed on the roof. He grabbed the bottle of If off his back splashed it all over the top of the building. He poured the entire bottle out, which should send them to about… his own time! Oops again! Then he was back in his own time, but above the huge building.

Well, at least now it would sound like they were spewing nonsense, not cursing. So it was time to go home. He got home when the sun was just rising. He went inside and sat down, deciding to record his adventures. He wrote about the road, was it aqe0co9? ajce0c0g? He just decided to put it as ajeocog. He would remember what it meant anyway. He wrote the next part. “Something about a building, was it red? No, that one was big, or you turn by the red one, so you turn by the big one. Yeah. Then you go into the red one. Thats what I did. And I tripped.”  he said as he wrote it all down.

Amazingly enough, he managed to finish and left it on the table to go take a nap. But as he was heading up, he heard someone coming in the door. Who could that be? He checked the nice clock he had on the wall. It was the time he would normally get home. Wait… what day was it? He checked to make sure and… it was! That was him from yesterday! Quickly he grabbed the If, trying to hide from himself. If he was seen, who knew what could happen! Oh, no! The If was almost empty! He tipped the last drop onto him… and was back. Back to right after he left. He took another bottle, this time of Baby and sprinkled just enough to make the adventure not have aged him (he didn’t want to die early). Then he realized. He left the story on his desk! So THAT was where he got the little story at the start. He must have to write to himself, otherwise he wouldn’t do it, and create a paradox. Time must have helped him on this one, but next time he would do better. Then he headed up to bed, and slept.