Cuss Cops

Cuss Cops

Saving the world from cursey people, one word at a time.

Written by: Jake Swartwout

Episode 1

Twas a normal day for Mark. He was at his job, in a meeting. He worked at Jake & Co., the leading brand of science gadgets. He hasn’t invented anything yet, but he still has a year. Each month, he gets money for experiments, and all he has to do was go to the brainstorming sessions every week. This one, the other inventors were arguing about if time travel was possible.

“ You BEEEP!” One man said “It IS BEEEP possible to BEEEP BEEEP in BEEP time!” Oh, how they loved to cuss. Mark hated cursing of all types, yet somehow his subconscious got through.

“BEEEEEEEP” Mark screamed “All of you BEEEP BEEEEPS, BEEEP the BEEP BEEP!” Everyone gasped. Ashamed, Mark ran out of the room, wishing he hadn’t said that. He ran mumbling down to the basement, hoping to find solitude there. Bam! He hit his head on a giant cabinet in the middle of the path. While he was losing consciousness, he saw a man hiding behind a car run away. “ssToP.!” He mumbled. Then the world blacked out.

When he awoke, he found himself lying next to a large grey cabinet. It was sitting in the middle of the stairs, a few steps up from the parking garage. Perplexed, he opened the door to the cabinet, expecting to find something horrible inside like a murdered body or 2 billion pounds of dynamite. He was right.

“Get down!” He yelled, throwing himself on the floor. For inside the cabinet, was rows and rows of bottles. They didn’t explode. Mark waited, and waited, and waited. Then, gingerly, he got up. Looking closer, he noticed a note stuck to one of the rows. It read:

Dear Mark,

Please do not be afraid of what I am about to tell you

I am you from the future

Inside this cabinet, you will find 4 different types of bottles

They are If, Back, Baby, and Old

If takes you Into the Future

Back takes you back to the past

Baby brings you closer to a baby

Old makes you old

Pour them on yourself to use it

With these, you will be able to travel in time and fix things that need fixing

Use these with great care and do not let people know about them

Do not let people steal them either.

From You,

Mark

Mark was amazed. Him from the future! Did these really let him do all of those things? He must try them out! But he must be careful not to change anything or else he would cause his future to be different. So, he grabbed some of the bottle labled Back, and poured it on himself. He only poured a little and was sent to what looked like a few minutes after he passed out. Amazed at seeing himself, he stood staring for a full minute. Then, realizing he needed the If to get back, he went to the cabinet and grabbed a bottle. Beside the first note, he saw another one. This one said:

Oh, Yeah. We forgot to tell you this:

The machine in the cabinet is capable of making all 4 of the potions.

Since they are opposites, you can mix If and Back, or Baby and Old to get nothing.

You can also make those out of nothing.

To do so, select the pair you want and click create.

The two bottles at the bottom will fill up.

Also, these potions work of everything but the machine and bottles.

You can use them on plants, animals, building, rocks, objects, even water.

You can specify with your mind what you want to travel.

For example, you could pour it in water and only have one drop travel.

Or you could have the entire ocean travel.

Also, if you separate something, then Baby it, it will find and connect to the other piece.

If you then Old it, it will move back to where it was going to be.

From,

Mark

Interested, Mark took the letter off. He also grabbed the machine. While inspecting them, he accidentally hit the on switch and If dribbled out of the open hole. He just stole something from himself and was back in the future. So it did really work! Satisfied, he wheeled the cabinet into his the trunk of his car and drove home, hoping to be the savior of time.