Pretzels for Science

Do you like quick and easy to make pretzels? No? Well then, you need to try... Jake & Co.'s Super Delicious Pretzel Recipe! Here is how it goes:

Step 1: Mix tons of stuff that might be in a pretzel like eggs and sugar and butter and stuff.

Step 2: Squint your eyes until it looks like a pretzel

Step 3: While still squinting, bake it at 4000000000 degrees Celsius for 5 days straight, or until your heating device breaks or catches something on fire. If something does catch on fire, put it out or call the fire department.

Step 4: If you have stopped squinting because of your fire problems, start again. Or, if you are a weirdo who doesn't like squinting for 5 days straight, form whatever is left of your pretzels into a pretzel shape. If only a gas or some plasma is left, cool it until it can be molded into a pretzel shape.

Step 5: Add, mix in, or inject so much salt into what is left that some of the salt chemically combines with the pretzels to create a new element.

Step 6: Show some scientist guys your new element.

Step 7: Get rich by creating a new element and use some of your newly found money to buy a pretzel from a pretzel stand in the mall.